Real Beauty: The Executive Menopause Coach

Today we are talking about something that affects every women, yet most of us feel wildly unprepared for it: menopause. Claire Hattrick is known as the Executive Menopause Coach, and she helps women feel informed, confident and in control... 

Claire is the author of 'Menopause help book' as a qualified CPD accredited Executive Menopause Coach, she supports women on a 1:1 coaching sessions educating men and women through public speaking and corporate events/training. 

for more information visit www.theexecutivemenopausecoach.com 

If you would like to reach out to me, it's @francenejdavidson 

Transcript

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Welcome to Real Beauty with fd a space where beauty goes far beyond the surface. Here we explore what beauty really means from the products we can't live without, to the stories that shape who we are from the cult favorite skincare to confidence from glowing on the outside, to navigate in life on the inside. But this isn't just about makeup bags and routines. We're diving into conversations that don't really often get said out loud. Fertility journeys, evolving, friendships, motherhood, identity, and everything in between because real beauty is found in resilience, in vulnerability, and in the moments that change us. Think of this as your place to discover your little black dress and beauty. Those go-to products, rituals, mindsets that make you feel like you, while also learning how to truly feel at home in your skin. Each episode I sit down with inspiring people to talk about beauty life and the stories that define them. This is real beauty, unfiltered, honest, and yours. I'm FD and I'm so glad you're here. But before we get into today's episode, I want to start with our weekly reset. Just a few honest moments from the past week, something that filled me up, something that felt heavy and one thing I'm carrying forward and this is something we should all be doing. And honestly, it's something that when I use my gratitude journal, it's a good way to take a pause and think. Okay, what went good instead of focusing on the negative, which I appreciate is sometimes difficult. So what filled me up? I am maybe obsessed with Mahjong. I don't know if it's something that's blown up everywhere or if it's just kinda where I'm at and the burbs but oh my God, it is so much fun. It is keeping my brain active so I understand why people continue to play this and it's very popular in that retirement age. But it's just been something so fun and free while on maternity leave where I still get my little social fix, but I'm also doing an activity it's just being so fun and social in the neighborhood that I've met a bunch of great women that I'm really enjoying. And it's also led to. The book club that I joined. So yeah, that is definitely filling up my cup and yeah, I'm excited'cause I'm playing it tonight. Something that's heavy. I don't know if anyone else is like me and they have the worst luck when it comes to cars. But I think it was like four years ago now. A car hit me on the way to work and then they continued to go. So not ideal, but it was like the first time that had happened, literally a month later. No word of lie, like to the day. I was driving and unfortunately got into an accident. And let me tell you, my husband was like, WTF. What is happening right now? Since then, I've had a really clean record. Everything's been good. The other day I was driving and yeah, I by accident, hit a trailer thinking, okay, my car is pretty substantial. Surely it should be okay. No, I need to. Fricking change out the bumper. And of course, it's not just one component, there's fucking four components. So I am feeling heavy about it'cause I'm pissed off at myself. That I'm gonna have to go waste this money in order to fix the car. And I would rather spend that money on other things, such as being off for summer and being able to do fun trips and fun activities with Luna and Brie instead of thinking about money, knowing that I won't be paid before I go back to work. So I'm feeling heavy about that and honestly just pissed off at myself. So yeah, one of the things I'm carrying forward is. Okay, so I am what, 14 weeks into maternity leave, and I feel like we are in a good routine, and I use the term routine in the fact that she's sleeping through the night. I feel good about that. We're kinda well rested, we've been getting out and about, but. I want to be a bit more set in, okay, on a Monday we're gonna do X, Y, Z. Tuesday we're gonna do Y. And then on top of that, I wanna be more consistent in what I'm eating and more, I use the term lightly, like my diet, just picking better choices. So instead of like grabbing something when I'm out and trying to make stuff at home which so far. Day three, it's going really well. I actually feel so much better for it. I've also introduced Peloton again, so my poor Peloton bike has been sitting in the garage unused for God knows how long. So yeah, just trying to get back into good fitness routine. And also I just really want, I'm just very conscious of using this time as best I can, as wisely as I can. So when I do go back to work, and it's not just the element of work. It's the element of, okay, now for eight plus hours a day, I am gonna be focusing on my job, which means the mornings are gonna be rushed. We all know coming home from work, especially when you have kids, you either have activities, you're rushing to, bedtime. And then after that, to be honest, at that point, I wanna watch a movie. I wanna just sit, I wanna relax, I wanna read a book. I wanna do something that I'm not then having to be like, okay, now I need to work out. So I feel like if I get in a good routine now with both, it should make it an easier transition. I don't know, maybe I did not do this well the first time with Luna. I feel like going back to work was just a blur. I didn't feel good about my body. I didn't feel like I'd set aside time. I guess for me, when it came to like my wellness, it was just giving to everything else. So now that I have a little bit of extra time, I just want to make sure I take advantage of that. Now the edit. So a few things I've been reaching for, watching or loving lately. So I know I mentioned Maja, but. We watched a movie last night called Weapons. So it's I would say like a horror thriller. It's been out for ages, but one of the reasons why I wanted to watch it is. One of the actresses was up for an Oscar, so that's very rare when it comes to the horror side of things outside of that movie Parasite that's been on my list and I really wanna watch it, but I have yet to do that. But anyway, we watched weapons last night. It was awesome. Everything you would want in that type of kind of thriller horror. I jumped multiple times. I love the storyline, like the way the director,'cause he actually wrote it also, but each of. The parts were segmented into each of the characters, which I thought was very clever. And I typically see that in books, but I don't typically see that in movies where you get it from I guess their own story. And the last time I saw this was the housemaid where you saw one story from one person and then the next story from the other one. And how they're navigating this and seeing it from a kinda different perspective, if you will. And also how it kinda all merged in from like a storyline standpoint. Anyway, very clever. Clever, really liked it. I'm also currently reading Verity as I know it's coming out as a movie. I think at the end of this year, and my experience is the book is always so much better, so I just wanted to get ahead of it, read the book. So when I go into the movie, yes, I know there's gonna be an element where I know what's happening or what will happen, but. I just love seeing a book be made into a movie and be able to compare them both. So yeah, that's kinda everything that's been going on in my life. And today we're talking about something that affects every woman. Yet, most of us feel wildly unprepared for it, and that's menopause. And it's not just the hot flashes. We're talking about mood changes, anxiety, joint pain, brain fog, identity shifts, and what that means when you're trying to keep your life together. While your hormones are all over the place, it is a rollercoaster. So I learned so much through this discussion. I am very open to ensuring that I have, I arm myself with as much information as possible to prepare myself for, this kind of next phase that a lot of us think it's so much further than it is, but some of these symptoms can start. As early as your late thirties. So whatever we can do to prepare ourselves and also ensure that this is part of our everyday normal conversation. So I am very excited to be talking to Claire Hadrick. She is known as the executive menopause coach and she helps women feel informed, confident, and in control. So without further ado, I hope you enjoy this episode. How are you doing? I am good, thank you. How are you doing? Yes, very good. Do I need a light on or how's it looking? I've had the light on. I've put the light off. I've put it, it's the great English weather. It's sunny today, but it's Oh, it's been bloody raining for weeks. Wow. Oh, it's so depressing. It could be worse. I know Scotland, they have not seen any sun in a record time. It's very depressing. Yeah, I'm I'm based in Texas and it is hot all the time. The sun is constantly out, shush. I know it's just hard life over here. But I speak to my parents and they're constantly reminding me of how not sunny it is in Scotland, but my sister lives in England, so I know it's nicer there. Whereabouts is she? She's just in Milton Keynes. Alright. I'm not too far away from me then. Yeah. She calls it, what did she call it? Costa de Soul?'cause it's always warm. Yeah, I'm probably, I'm about an hour from Milton Keynes. I'm further south. Oh, okay. Nice. But then you're also not far from London? Yeah, but an hour as well. Okay. So she's here. Yeah, I'm about here. And London's kind of. There. Yeah. Okay. Slightly. Okay. I love it. London's like my favorite place. Every time we fly home, we always go via London and one of my best friends lives in Essex, so Oh is like my favorite place to go. And I love going to Essex and I grew up watching the only way is Essex, so every time I speak to my friend I'm like, are you from the uk? Yes, I'm from Scotland. You've got a really strong American accent though. I know. I know. I think I always had a bit of a twang, but then we moved here. Gosh, 12 years ago, and I think I just leaned in more. Whereas if like my, if you're listening to my husband, he literally sounds like he's from Scotland. He's not changed his accent. Just me. That's really bizarre. Really bizarre. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. I just ditched it. But thank you so much for your time, by the way. You're welcome. I'm so excited. Welcome to speak to you. Welcome. I feel like this is such a good topic that I wish there was more information out there. There was more conversations about it. I feel like it's getting there, but I'm just a big advocate for women and having these discussions early and educating yourselves early. You hear me say that a lot? On that note, Claire, welcome to Real Beauty. I'm so excited for you to be here. So for anyone meeting you for the first time, tell me a little bit more about yourself and what you're passionate about. Bless you. First of all, Francine, thank you so much for inviting me on, especially to talk to our younger generation of young ladies about menopause. As our chat goes on, I'm sure you'll become more and more aware as to why I personally was I'm so passionate that women know about menopause from a younger age. My backstory, I would have been 39. I was still having the sex of my life. I was still having periods. I thought menopause was hot flushes and old ladies to the contrary, I'm here. We've just discussed how rainy and cold it is in the uk. And I do have the center heating on for whack. I'm very cold, never had a hot flush in my life. And basically I assumed that I'd rolled onto these two fingers. In the middle of the night, I can remember I'm going back 18 years. Staggering into the bathroom, thinking, oh, half asleep. Oh my God, what have I done? Running my fingers under the cold tap, the hot tap, trying to, put them back in position almost. That was the start of 10 years of menopausal joint hell for me, which left me unable to stand, sit, or walk predominantly elbows, knees, and hips. Oh my gosh. So if you imagine you want to sit down, I would go out and the first thing I'd be doing is thinking, I'm never gonna sit down in that chair because I'm not gonna get back up. If I could get down in a car creaking elbows and and knees and hip. But you try pulling yourself out of a relatively low car. So yeah, that, that's why I'm hugely passionate that, women aren't left, losing years of their lives. We still hear, I've heard it this morning from a lady saying, my GP here in the UK has told me to come back when I'm 51, and she said, I won't be here then. Clearly struggling with mental health. It took me a long time. To talk about that I was a single mom. I've got twin daughters who are both emergency workers and live in London. And, it was awful for them to see their mum crawling round on her hands and knees. Yeah. Over just under an 11 year period, I was under. Probably 14 or 15 consultants, but 11 that I saw on a regular basis. All men, some of them I still speak to today, and I've had two and a half thousand blood tests in that time. Oh my gosh. Everything came back as normal. Nobody ever asked me When was your last period. Nobody thought of hormones back then and we're still having these conversations today and so you can imagine, the girls, the twins went off to university. It left me home on my own. And yeah, it was a really dark time and I spent an unhealthy amount of time at the top of our local car park thinking I don't feel depressed, but I have no enjoyment in my life. I was a burden to everybody. Who wants somebody who's a friend that every time you organize a lovely evening or a night out or a day out with the girls, we'll use every excuse under the sun not to go. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna better sit down. I'm gonna be going into what I now know. I was having panic and anxiety attacks for years, but didn't tell anybody and didn't know what they were. I've always been very confident, very outgoing, and all of a sudden I'm a foremost shell of myself and I literally didn't leave the house for two and a half years. Oh my gosh. That's awful. Unfortunately, I'm in the 25%, and it's not to frighten people, but I think, yeah. Yeah. I think impacts make people think, oh, menopause rolling their eyes. Sit up and listen. There are women that I have standup arguments with that, our mother survived it. Put your big girl pants on. 25% of us are utterly flawed, and I'll talk to you a lot today. You've sent me some brilliant questions about. Going into menopause in a really good condition. I was in quite condition, a good condition. I'm one of those sads. I have lifted weights and hit the gym since I was 18. I'm now 58, and even in my really dark times I'm crawling around the gym on my hands and knees. I still went. If I was able to, and the guys used to help me up the stairs and lift me up and give me their arm and I'd lean on them to, and then I'd crawl around the gym on my hands and knees. So I was always into the gym. And I ate re relatively healthily. Never been, never been interested in smoking, didn't particularly drink a lot. So I did go into menopause, unbeknown to me, in a relatively fit state and, yeah. That's wild. So then going through that, at that point, did you at any moment be like, wait, am I, is this menopause? At what point did you get to, and who was it? Or what was the kinda wake up call that you were like, wait, this is what, this is the, I need to be looking at like a different treatment here. For me, I'd never even heard of the word 18 years ago. Perimenopause. Never even heard of it in my life. What menopause was. As I said, old ladies hot flushes. Yeah. Yeah. I assume it's way later. Absolutely not in your late thirties, early forties. My little moment was a man all the consultants here in the UK were sending me to see Dave the physio. And I went in this particular day and I was a beauty therapist at the time, so I was wearing supports calipers on my arms. I worked in horrendous pain day in, day out for many years. And I remember going into him, it was the 22nd of December, I'd worked really hard in my salon. And I went in and I wasn't broken. And they say, you are not broken. But I was. I really dispute that I was very broken, but I was broken years before I'd lost my confidence. I wasn't the person I was anymore, and I just needed somebody to tell me what was wrong with me. And this particular day he said to me I just looked at him and I said. Am I dying, Dave? And nobody wants to tell me. And by, I think by this point he'd had enough of all the consultants sending me to him. Yeah. That in his words not mine, mend me and put me back together. He lent me back up to my gps in the rain, it put me in a heap on the floor, and he wasn't rude to the receptionist, but he had really strong words with her and said, I'm not treating this lady anymore. You need to look at her hormones. Oh, he said, it's systemic this week, it's left elbow, left knee, right hip. Two days ago, 48 hours ago, she's there, she can't even move her neck. And my, now I could see this pair of legs backtrack. And my now friend a new gp had just joined the practice. She was an army doctor and she took my case on and just said, I have never seen anybody who in the first 30 years of their life has a few pill checks, little bit of laryngitis.'cause she talks too much. Yeah. But other than that, I now have my own healthy Yeah. Absolutely my own car parking space outside. So we went through everything. She said, hold on, backtrack. You had sensory nerve testing. I went, oh, yeah. Then I went to that because obviously we are very grateful we've got our NHS, but all these appointments took months, years. Oh, I can only imagine. Yeah. Sent me through the psychiatric route and the psychiatrist said to me, I, can you just look like you're in agony. I was laying down on the bed talking to him. I was sat on a chair talking to him. I was stood up against the door frame. And that was all in a 45 minute appointment.'cause I could not sit still because of the pain. Initially I was put on a large unauthorized dose of naproxen, which was a game changing for me. So all of a sudden I would have little tea cups with metal straws and that is how I would. Pick up a cup of tea. Now all of a sudden I could pick up half a heavy bottle of water. Yeah. I would never have a bottle like that. I would have, as I say, straws if I went to a friend's house, I couldn't pick anything up. I was in absolute agony. Yeah, and then we backtrack. Then it was our British Menopause Society and Nice Guidelines. A advised that you were within a 10 year window of your last period. I was well over that, but I was willing to take the chance and kind of two measly pumps of gel and a EU toge down, which is your protection. Protection for the womb and the ovaries. If you know if you've still got them. Because if you're gonna take estrogen, you need to have a form of progesterone to balance that out so you don't end up with any of the five gynecological cancers. So did that absolute game changer. Absolutely. Overnight. Within couple of weeks I was getting outta bed and not falling on my knees and going to the bathroom to clean my teeth and picking my electric toothbrush up my hands and using my nose. Yeah, because like my hands were horrendous in the morning. I couldn't. I couldn't push my electric toothbrush and they're soft, but I would use my nose to, to put that on. So yeah, just a couple of measly pumps, but that wasn't the end of my HRT journey. I, within two or three weeks I started bleeding heavily. So I spent two. By this point, I'm in the menopause space. Okay. And I was well aware that the endometrial lining was getting thicker and thicker. And after two and a half years, the powers that be, I was quite involved with quite a few big menopause gps and companies at this point had a, an appointment with my GP and Mid Hampshire Health. And the general consensus was you can't stay on this. Your endometrial lining is five times thicker than the safety guidelines. You will end up with cancer. And was that wrong? Was that from the medicine? Yeah, from the hormone replacement therapy, the HRT. Okay. It can make the the lining of your womb get thicker and thicker, the endometrial lining. Okay. So basically we knew why, because obviously I had a problem with that. We think the progesterone, and I think I had some sort of intolerance and we were trying to do a bit of a balancing game. Wow. I changed gel to patches. I changed to the old fashioned tablet form, which is. Slightly slight increase in risk. But it's like anything you wouldn't live on paracetamol. I clearly needed hormone replacement therapy, HRT in my early forties. Gosh. But I ended up coming off it overnight. Absolutely mortified thinking I'm gonna go back to how I lived before. Yeah. And here we are half years on. I am absolutely fine dandy. I can straighten my elbows these days. That's awesome. But for years. And it just is, forewarned is forearmed. It's finding what works for you. HRT is not a miracle cure for everything. Yeah. I guess to your point, it's finding the right solution, like anything, right? Is finding what makes it best for you. But do you find going through. What you went through and you having to advocate for yourself and search for this right solution. I can imagine that's probably why you now have kinda created this space that you wanna help other women quicker get to that point. Absolutely. Francine, it was really in lockdown. I'd got really gMed up on menopause your options. The importance of sleep and stress. Huh? What was that? Yeah, seven years. I didn't have any sleep. I just walked around like a zombie. I can remember, banging my car up, curbs.'cause I was half asleep. I was mentally exhausted. But yeah, for me, I just, I, I think lockdown came, the twins came back from London one one to finish our biochemistry dissertation and they said, mom, you are so up on this. So we set up the executive menopause coach.com, which is a free website. I work two and a half years unpaid. I'm funded just to make sure everybody's very simple, very basic. Lots of men tell me they like it'cause they say it's not too, I'm not medically trained. I'm quite gMed up on what your options are, but I think it's just, especially when you are younger women, you don't want to frighten people. Yeah. But I would rather be frightened in my thirties and go, whoa than lose. Yeah. I would rather know lose life. Yeah. Forewarned is forearmed and I've got lots percents of friends that, that are younger and they're saying. If it wasn't for you, I think I'm going through relatively early menopause'cause of the 70 odd symptoms. When I do one-to-one coaching ladies, they say to me, I don't think I've got many symptoms. And when you go through the lesser ones I've started to get itchy skin again. It's amazing how good a hairbrush can feel on your arms and your legs. 18 years on, I'm suddenly getting those small tweaky symptoms, but they're not the end of the world. They're not gonna have a massive impact. But for example, if you're having hot flushes, joint pain, your mental health, you know you need to go and speak to your doctor and your medical provider about your options. Some ladies who can't take HRT. Here in the UK there's several different ME medicines now that will help with hot flushes. So if you imagine you are having them all night, you're disturbing your partner, you are kicking him on bed to strip the, you're not sleeping. Yeah. That's awful. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I think. Like I was telling, like my friends that I was gonna do this interview and even, like my mom and actually my husband's auntie is staying with us for a couple of weeks and I was talking to her about it too. And she was just telling me about like her symptoms and kinda her experience. And she's now 59. My mom is 65. And my mom went on HR team. I think my husband's auntie was the same, but it's interesting just doing some of the research before this interview on how many women, when they go and they speak to their doctor, they immediately are put on antidepressants versus even the conversation about menopause or perimenopause on, okay, this is what to expect or here are the ages. I think if it's any younger, you had mentioned 51. I think a lot of people younger than that, right? Their symptoms are dismissed and it's, oh, it might be anxiety. It might be that you're depressed versus there's a hormonal imbalance and that needs to be looked at. Do you find in the UK it's getting better? Oh, so many questions to answer there, Francine. First of all I'm part of a, I'm part of the Make Menopause Matter campaign and the menopause mandate here in the uk. We are on the first rung. I personally feel of a very long ladder. Yes, we're heading in the right direction, but there's so much misinformation there. We say the average age of a woman going through menopause here in the UK according to British Menopause Society and NICE guidelines is 51. There's lots of research going on now with a lot of our top fabulous, amazing universities, and we've got professors and people are really beginning to look at, oh my goodness, everything is based around men's health, so right, it's up. 200% of money is spent on women's and 47% on men's, and somebody said the other day. If, men couldn't get erections, we would have a Viagra sweetie shop on the corner of every food. And it's so true. For myself I'm 58 now, we are in that sandwich generation. Our parents are living longer now. We've got kids that can't afford to get on the property ladder. Women are juggling. So when we go to doctors, they look at you and go, oh my God, she's wrecked. She hasn't got any makeup on. She looks tired, she looks knackered. Her husband's doing her head in. She wants to throttle the children. Chuck are on some antidepressants, but now here in the UK they are advised that their go-to should now be HRT Hormone replacement therapy. And when you look at the addictive drugs that some of us have been asked to take, HRT in the grand scheme of things is very boringly normal. I dunno if I may Francine just jump on and talk about the the misinformation. In 2002, the World Health or organization did a trial. Very quick story, a long story short, it was done on morbidly obese women between the ages of 62 and 65, who took the old style tablet. The go-to should be transdermal. Transdermal. HRT comes in form of patches, gel and spray. Okay. So that would be an average boring, normal GP doctor would go for that. So you put it on your skin. Stick patch on your bottom, your hip or your thigh or spray, wherever you've been told to apply it. Normally from the waist down is preferable. But there are women who don't absorb. So they're up to the maximum four doses, four, four pumps of Easter gel, rubbing it in between their thighs, any excess wipe off on the rest of your body. And it might not work for those ages, so they might have to go back to the old tablet form, which for some women works brilliantly, but. It is just getting rid of that information that, back to this study in 2002, there was a very slight increase in breast cancer in these women who were morbidly obese. So the whole world went stop. HRT. Yeah. How many marriages ended? How many women committed suicide? How many women left the workplace? Which is a huge passion of mine today, and that's what I tend to do. I go into workplace is doing these workshops and presentations to keep women in their job roles. We've worked damn hard. Why at 58 should I think? I can't go into a workplace anymore because I'm having a hot flash or I can't remember. I own my brain fog. That's one of my biggest symptoms that I'm not great at. I've got all my notes written down today, so I tend to go off a tangent, Francine. But I own that now because I think if we don't. Say to, oh my goodness, what was I talking about? Where was I going? We will never make a difference for our younger generation of women going through this time. We will just be still calling it the change. We'll be, yes. No, it's, it is menopause. One of your questions was really good about what's the difference. So perimenopause Yeah. Is your need up to menopause, right? So those years where you may be very unaware that you are having symptoms, suddenly you get ready to go out the front door. Your husband, your partner, loved one, gives you a huge compliment. You look gorgeous, all of a sudden you're back upstairs. Makeup off, close up. I'm not going out. Where does that come from? Women talk about rage, anger. It can come outta nowhere and it is not your fault, and it's not your, your loved one's fault. It is your hormones, your estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Women produce that as well, just having a little bit of a dip. For me, the estrogen tap went on overnight and my estrogen levels plummeted, leaving me in agony because estrogen is very good. For your joints for inflammation and looking after those joints and muscles. So that's your perimenopause where you may be having irregular periods, you may be having a little bit of brown, discharge. Every now and again. That's all dead blood. Very born, really normal. This can go on for many years. So do you think because of that just knowing. If your period becomes irregular or you get some of those symptoms, I think a lot of women wouldn't e especially age-wise, and I think because of it, no, you wouldn't think perimenopause. No, I don't think so. Which is why we are trying to make a difference. So you might go. My libido, my sex drive don't really fancy my partner anymore. I don't like anybody. I'd rather be on my own. Don't like there's all these symptoms. Women really shut themselves off. I'm a huge advocate for going into the workplace. Not, I'm not saying don't work from home, but I was one of those people hand up and I hear it from thousands of women that say, oh, I love it when I'm at home. I don't need to speak to anybody. Yeah, I don't need to communicate. That is not good for your mental health. Yeah. It's we are human beings. We're born to interact. And I had a horrific 11 years, I, if there's one word I would use, and my girls always get really upset when I say this. I was the loneliest person in the world. I didn't think I had a friend in the world. No. And even now that makes me well up.'cause that sounds so sad to say that. And I have friends everywhere. Yeah. Myself off. I didn't want to speak to anybody because it was a same droney conversation and I was moaning Myrtle as I called myself. Yeah, because you don't wanna keep telling people you are. Oh, no, I'm not. I can't walk. I can't come out, so you then turn into lying. I was a really, yeah, because you feel like you I need an Oscar performance. Oh my God. But yeah, so the perimenopause is the le the years leading up to menopause. Menopause is one day of your life. That's the last day. You ever have a period, but you don't know until you are 12 months and one day down the line. So you might think, oh, I haven't had a period for four months. Oh, am I going into, I've gone through menopause, I'm now post menopause, and then bam, you have a period 11 months on, you have to have one whole year clear. Of periods and then you are post menopause. And this is a real hard hitter. But I'm gonna say it, I always do. My girls be rolling their eyes. You are Post menopause for life. Women say to me, oh, I'm through that. You are not ever through it. Those hormones don't suddenly jump back into your body. Yeah. If you are 72, go and see your GP because this, we are living longer. Medical. The medical world is keeping us alive for longer, but we are living our lives in, in just bad health. Yeah. Who wants to be here when they're sat on a sofa, virtually waiting to die because they're in so much pain. Go and see your gp, see what your options are. Look at your nutrition, look at your lifestyle. So you've got perimenopause, menopause, which is the one day that you last have your period, but you are not gonna know that until you are 12 months and one day down the line. Then you are gonna say hey, I'm through it. No more tampons, no more periods. Be careful. You can get pregnant. Be very careful. You get pregnant. Yeah. If you imagine, you think you've gone through menopause. Oh yeah. You then detected sex. Oh, I've gone 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 months. Oh, we're alright. Tonight's the night. Tonight is not the night ladies be one. But nobody tells you that either. Yeah I didn't know that from like a definition standpoint.'cause you do hear a lot of women say, and literally the people I've also spoken to just in some of like my research, it's why I'm through that. Like I'm past that now. But you're never through it. You are never through menopause until the day you die. You are post menopause for life. So I've been post menopause for 18 years and I'm 58. Wow. So let's say, and to really explain it to anybody who really, you know, and I always think it is important to give it in layman's terms, especially if there's any men watching this. So yeah, the average woman, and I am talking average, I'm not talking polycystic ovarian insufficiency. Our poor young ladies that are born with very few eggs, I'm talking average person. You are born with all of your eggs as a little baby. As a little girl, you have X amount of eggs. Every month when you start your periods and eggs released from one side, one ovary, and the next month the other, if they're not fertilized. So you don't have, sex, the sperm, you know the whole you get pregnant. If that doesn't happen, you're taking the pill, whatever that comes away as a period every month, which is what your blood is. So when those. Eggs run out, that's when you are gonna hit your menopause. So I'm hoping in years to come, we might be offered some sort of scan. There might be some sort of blood test. So then you roughly know you, you've got 896 eggs, somebody else has got 3,216. You would have a rough idea as to when you were gonna hit menopause. This is very basic, very layman's terms, and it obviously doesn't apply to anybody. So when those eggs when those eggs are no longer. That's when you hit menopause. Oh my gosh. I've never thought about it like that. But you're right. Just knowing the science technology, most of us have s of the damn things. We have thousands. You've got women now saying, oh, I'm hitting 40. I want children. You, she might still have an awful lot of legs legs, eggs left, not legs left. But meanwhile, how. We don't have something like that now, which is bizarre. Yeah I would love for that to be the case. Like even, so we actually went through IVF last year and my second daughter, she is. Seven weeks. So we were successful. But even wonderful. You don't look like a mommy who's just had a baby. That's amazing. Thank you. Seven weeks. You should look far more tired than that. Let me tell you. She has been the, I thought my first was the best baby. Oh my gosh. She has been amazing. And sleeping. And so I, I'm definitely blessed with much wood how she's been. Yeah, I know. I'm like, it could change. It could change. But going through that process and the egg retrieval and e even just like you mentioned, like progesterone and like the hormones I never understood that until going through that process and just knowing what they can see. And to your point about how many eggs and just the information that they have, I'm surprised there's not more research going into. Menopause that process, like to your point, to be able to give you an indication on, okay, let's go check and maybe this is why you're feeling the way you're feeling and maybe this is a timeline, right? Because even isn't there something crazy where when it comes to the research on like tampons, the only just started to use blood like a couple of years ago. Like even that is yeah. And they're now on about hearing, I dunno whether it's what it's like in the States, but definitely here now they're on, about women who won't go for smears and things like that. Using the blood off of a sanitary town and things like that. Yeah. To do a, a cervical smear. Yeah. It's so we are moving, but it, yeah, it's slow. I don't know, will it be in my lifetime, I'd like to think we campaign really hard over here for change and I know that the OBGYNs, they love us over in the States, tams in Fidel. You've got some great people that are really Yeah, championing menopause. But I'm in that space, so I'm hearing and seeing every day. But the normal everyday person that's gone up and gone to work and isn't on Instagram following me. Yeah. And isn't, yeah, it breaks my heart, my daughter, or they're not asking the questions. Like maybe they're not comfortable to ask the questions. Even in the friend group. Yeah. But I don't wanna miss lots of your questions, Francine, because I th I've written them all down. I think it's really important that I would, that we go back. So you asked me why menopause education needs to start earlier than we think. Yeah. Hopefully my conversation has covered that. Forewarned la Ladies is forearmed. I'm never here to frighten anybody or make anybody go, oh, that's gonna be me. You could be in the 25% that walk it relatively easily. They have no idea. Even with the research that's coming through, why did Claire suffer so badly yet? Francine's gonna walk it. Yeah. Hot flush twice a year and her eyes are water. And when she goes out in the winter and streaming down her face and taking her makeup with her and. Other than that you don't, not everybody sh it's not an automatic. You've hit 40, go on HRT. Yeah. Like any medication, the pros have to outweigh the cons. You need to have that conversation with your medical provider. But my biggest motto is suffering should not be an option. No. And I suffered and struggled for a really long time. The hormonal shifts can start in your thirties. Again, I'm just talking average women. I'm not talking anybody with endometriosis. My, on all these other things. I'm talking boringly, normal vera next door. Those hormonal shifts. Just be aware that in your thirties, if there's a shift in your mood. If you start getting physical symptoms, just be aware, but not everything is menopause. I do want to confirm that as well. You should always go and get checked out and have blood tests run. I'm now gonna contradict that over in the UK and why I slipped through the net. They will do blood tests six weeks apart, but your hormones at nine o'clock I might read in the average, but then I might have a little bit of a shunt and by 12 o'clock my blood test is reading totally differently. So here in the uk British Menopause Society guidelines are 45 and over. All GPS blanket coverage should be going by symptoms. When I read out the 70 symptoms and people go yeah. Yeah. You are clearly going into that perimenopause. If not in the thick of it, we should not be saying to women, have a blood test now. Have a blood test six weeks. Oh, you are totally normal. You go away. Yeah. It's not a good indicator. Yeah. I've covered your, per your perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause. I can't think what else you asked me now. Why many women don't connect symptoms to hormones? Absolutely. That's a brilliant question. So is, as I said to you earlier, you look at our life's. Style. Women of an age. We're looking after our parents who are living longer, which is great. But we're also not stay at home moms. Lots of us now have gone back into the workplace, so we put so much of it down to, to stress. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Yeah. Like we just dismiss it and we're, that's what I was on, like irregular. We're. Yes. We're like I was just stressed last month. That's why my period was late, or whatever else. And then you dismiss it and you put it down to, I was just busy, which is. Wild. How many of us do that when it comes? But then it starts snowballing and then like I said to you, people stop going into the to work. I hide at home. Yeah. And the symptoms can exacerbate. And another one comes and another one comes. And for example, you go into work at nine o'clock, you've answered the work telephone and you said your childhood telephone number, you haven't said the work.'cause your brain fogs kicked in. Yeah. At 11 o'clock you're having a such a bad hot flush. By 12 o'clock you've got a full blown migraine and you're being sick in the toilet. By two o'clock, you just absolutely hate the world and you are mentally and physically exhausted. And fatigue is something that I personally feel is not covered enough in menopause. I've had so many friends saying to me, oh, don't tell anyone, but I have a sleep in the car. At lunchtime, I just go and get on the backseat and have a sleep, but they're telling me, oh, I haven't got any symptoms. Yeah. You're like, so that's a symptom. That's just not normal. Go and have a sleep. But I think for lots of women the symptoms come in so gradually. We're not coming in like Claire, like a jet plane. Yeah. Where ba Yeah. Banded. We are, all these little things, people start to irritate you, you start to put up with less. You are just, you get a bit argumentative. Lots of women, as I said to you earlier, get more aggressive. I've done some work over here with the police and all the police men and women were saying. We deal with women who suddenly can't handle a couple of glasses of red wine because they're aggressive and they wanna fight the world, and they've never been known to us. So it's, again, they're like, it's the wine, it's the wine. Absolutely. But yeah. And it's been being aware that, that bottle of red wine now will exacerbate lots of your menopause symptoms. Yeah. Hot flushes, night sweats, rage, mood swings, low mood is so common in menopause. And again, we are not talking about it enough. I spent years, Francine, years just laying in bed plotting how I wasn't gonna be here anymore. That is not normal. And so many women in the workplace, my presentations sit there and they go. Yeah. Because if I don't talk about it, we are never gonna make a change for the next generation of younger women like yourself coming into this town. Oh, I agree. And so there is a podcast I listen to religiously in the uk. I dunno if you've heard of It's Luanna, it's Anna Williamson, she's on. Oh yes. Yeah, I've met her. Yeah. I've met Anna. She's quite vocal. She's so vocal. And I love it because it, so this podcast, for anyone who hasn't listened to it, it's two women, Louisa Ziman and Anna Williamson. And I love this podcast because it's like you're having a conversation with your friends and they talk about. Every nothing is out bounds. But Anna specifically lately has been talking about perimenopause, her symptoms. I think she recently said that she's on HRT and she's just being a good advocate for, go speak about your options. This is how I'm feeling and this is what's making me better. And I think she's early forties, if I remember correctly. But I love at 2 43 ish. But I love that it's just a normal conversation she brings up. Normally. Use it to my ears. Yeah, that's what I love is this is what it should be. We should be speaking about this normally. And I love someone in that kind of public figure speaking about it. It's you've got great Americans though. Who was it that had the hot flash? I can see her. I can't think of it. That's that brain fog that you've had. Quite a few American celebs that have just gone pass me a front live on news. I'm having a hot flash. I love that. And the male presenter, it went viral, I think looked at her in absolute disgust and the, I need to look this up. Oh, come here. Drew Barrymore. It was Drew Barrymore. Oh yes. You're right. Go Drew Barrymore. We should bloody be able to say this is happening. Why should we be? Yeah, you should be able to do that. Apologizing and sitting there. She could have felt like she was gonna faint. She could have felt physically sick. Yeah. She could have thought, oh, I can't think what I'm saying. What am I doing? At least fair play to her. She owned it and. Love it. Yeah, I agree. There was this woman I interviewed a couple of years ago and she worked for the fashion magazine, so like Vogue, Mary Claire and one of the, she then went through perimenopause, then into menopause and then post menopause. Now I'm using the correct definitions. Very good. I'm so impressed. Francie, we've done 40 minutes and I've trained you up. I expect you to tell everybody about that now I'll but one of the things we had spoken about when I interviewed her, she created this skincare brand. And one of her motto was, well aging. Because she was very conscious, growing up in that kind of magazine. Kind of community where so much of that conversation about aging was taboo. People wanna look younger, they wanna do everything they can to look younger. And she said when her skin then changed because of these symptoms and her skin did change, there wasn't a skincare brand in the market that truly helped for what she needed.'cause so much of it was trying to get. Younger, do what you can to roll reverse the aging. And she was like, I want something that will help me. Absolutely. In what that looks like. So she also created this spray that I will send over, and it was four hot flashes. And I actually got it too,'cause I was doing my research. Was it like a spritz? Yes. And it's it cooled you down. So one of the things when I was interviewing her, she was like, it's also really good if you're exercising. She is and you get hot. So I actually have it in my You have that in the bucket. Bucket, yeah. Yeah. But do you find also from a skincare and beauty standpoint, there is enough products on the market for when you do, when your skin changes. Love that you've brought products on the market that have got me into my meow washing in a minute. I think women either tell me, especially as an ex beauty therapist, I've been quite lucky. Like women, their hair's falling out and thin. And for 58, I, my hair's always been thin, but I've got quite a bit of it. But definitely you've gotta look after your skin. And I hate these companies that are going out. They're putting menopause. On the same brand of skincare and double or treble in the price. Please be aware of that. Everybody's jumping on the supplements. Skincare, there's a lot of it out there. And again, it, I hate to say it's like menopause. You've gotta find what works for you. But women either find, they get really greasy t zones. It's a bit like, a sort of what someone said to me the other week. I've got a feeling it might have come from America actually, that menopause is a bit like a. Was it is it a co cougar going through their period or something again where you get greasy teaser Yeah. Or breakout in dry skin. And some women say, can I've got one bit of cream going there another bit because I'm really dry here. Really greasy. Yeah. Yeah. Who's worth going to see, a beauty therapist or somebody who knows? Just do not go out. It's like supplements. I'm a supplement taker. We don't take, we don't get enough vitamin D in this country. Yeah. And I think that can really help. But there are PE women say to me, oh, I take 16 supplements a day. How do you know what's working? I know, true. The menopause industry is a, is gonna, without a doubt, be a multi-trillion pound business. If you think we are 51% of the population, have husbands and. Men and partners and loved ones in time racing out and going, oh, menopause. We'll be going around with the trolley load. I know, true, but you don't know what's working. So one thing at a time is what I say, if you've got gut health issues, constipation, diarrhea, these are massive things that happening. In menopause, we don't talk enough about vaginal dryness, genitor syndrome of menopause, where we should be using localized, topical vaginal, all the same thing, estrogen. So they're like 10 micrograms of. Estrogen. So they're not the big stuff or the bigger stuff that you're putting on. Your standard HRT. This is just it, you mean basically insert it vaginally every day for two weeks to give it a kickstart, and then I will use it twice a week for life. If you've had any of the brat, 1, 2, 3, any of the breast cancers. It's safe to use. It's going is to the point exactly where you need. It's not going through the kidneys, the liver, the skin, anything stomach. That's really important that women, you look at the older generation, they're all sat in incontinence pants. Why is no one talking about urge incontinence? Incontinence. Incontinence and urinary leakage and things like that. You if you use and can use any localized, topical, vaginal estrogen that can help with all these things later on in life, constant UTIs and vaginal moisturizer. Hate this work, but I'm gonna use it. I used it a couple of shows I did, and people said, I've never forgotten it as we age. Look at my crow's feet. We use face cream. Yeah. So if you're gonna moisturize your face, your fingers, you need to be moisturizing. Your Fannie. Yeah. Nobody's telling you this inside your labia. Your clitoris, ev. I hate to mortify everybody, but everything will begin to shrink, so you need to give it some TLC you need to use. We've got a company over here called Yes Organics. Yeah, a hundred percent organic. And I just use it a couple of times a week. I look at the girls, the younger ladies going round in the gym, itching and adjusting themselves more than any of the men are. But nobody is telling you. They're also saying from the age of 40 onwards, all women should be using lubricants for any sexual activity, any penetration you should be using a water-based, oil-based, completely organic some sort of lubrication. And is that like proactively? Yeah, just, they're now saying anybody from 40 onwards, women are saying to me, sex feels like they are being grated with a cheese grate inside. They're ripping, they are tearing your vagina. You, your skin will thin internally, but why are we not telling women about this? So check out. My website is all on there. Do follow me on Instagram? I talk about hundred percent. No one else will tell. We'll talk about, because I think. If we want to make a difference for our younger generation of women, we have to be bold and brave and talk about these things. Oh my gosh, a hundred percent. Like I pray even to. Even now, like I'm pretty open about talking about my periods. I get horrifically heavy periods. I hate them, but I appreciate having them and being a woman. But every month I'm like, Ugh. It's just awful. But it's something I speak to my friends about. And since I opened up, I find like my friends open up and then you trade like symptoms and you're like, Hey, this is what helps me and I use this heating pad and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I feel like having that conversation and making it normal allows you to trade those stories, see if there's, you can kind help yourself. You're not just relying on Google. And same with you having this online presence that allows people to share and say, Hey, I've been following this person, or Here's a site that I've been using, but I want that to be the same with menopause. I don't want this to be a discussion that people don't wanna have because of that relation to aging. I'm and awkward. We shouldn't be, yeah. We've got vaginas, we've got vulvas, we need to talk about it. We absolutely need to be using the right, not down there and the change and yeah. Nothing will change if we don't change it. And like Diane Danzer bring, who runs the Make Menopause Matter campaign, we want to be the generation to make menopause matter. Yeah, a hundred percent. Claire, thank you so much for your time. You were very welcome. Like wise, when it comes to all of this, and already I feel like I've learned so much from this conversation but one of the things I always ask each and every guest that I interview is, what does real beauty mean to you? Oh, being kind to yourself and loving yourself. I don't think we advocate enough for ourselves. I think, like I said, all the way through this conversation, women are. We are amazing human beings, but we don't ever put ourselves first. And I think advocate don't suffer in silence. But beauty really is trying to find in your, children, loved ones, elderly, partners jobs. Try and prioritize yourself just that little bit more and love yourself. Yeah. I love that. Thank you so much, Claire. It has been such a pleasure. I really appreciate it. And I will make sure I post the details in the show notes so people are able to find you. But seriously, I love everything you're doing and I appreciate individuals like yourself who really want to create awareness off of. Your experience and instead of you finding the solution and being like I'm good, you're sharing the message and helping others, and I know that even through this conversation, we will help other people. Absolutely, and thank you Francine, for inviting me on and having this conversation to a younger audience because I just want them to go, oh, I might be a bit perimenopausal and I can just go, yeah, let me look into it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Just be aware that it might be, but as I've said, not everything is perimenopause and menopause, but forewarned is definitely forearmed and I wish. I wouldn't have lost 11 years in my life if people like you hadn't been doing podcasts. Yeah. And people like me. Yeah. Were putting out on Instagram, TikTok and social media. Hey, this is the start. You've already been doing this for a while, but hopefully this is truly changing these conversations and I truly hope in I 10 years, if not before even that point on, Hey, you have X amount of eggs. This is what this means, and this is probably gonna be like your timeline and this is how we're gonna set you up and this is gonna be your health journey to help you get past this. That's the conversations that I would love to see. Claire, before we end, for all the curious people out there listening, can you please remind us on how to get some of this great information that you put out there? Www the dot, the executive menopause coach.com. That is free. I work for two years. Unpaid, unfunded anybody. All we ask is people sign up to our newsletter in the dropdown link and send it to anyone. It may help. Today it's free. That's doesn't cost. I love it. I love that you do that. it doesn't cost you anything. It's all free stuff coming out all the time. Yeah, a hundred percent. I will be doing that. I was actually having a look at your site yesterday. So will ensure I remain signed up and I cannot wait for the newsletter and, the continued information that you put out there. So thank you so much again for joining me today. Alright, thank you so much Claire. I really appreciate it. Thank you francine.