Real Beauty with FD
Real Beauty with FD
Season 4 Real Beauty with FD: Women supporting women, best business advice and keeping a positive mindset featuring Brianna Dunbar
Go check out Brianna on instagram under @mombossinaustin and her incredible podcast @badassbasicbitch
Such a fun discussion!
Hit me up @choosandfashiondoos
Welcome to you. Part two of our awesome conversation with Brianna Dunbar. Who is the host of bad-ass basic bitch podcast. And you're able to find her on Instagram, under, at mum boss in Austin. We are going go dive straight in, back into the discussion where we were talking about female mentors and everything Brianna has been doing to give back I also do want to give a shout out to dibs beauty, um, which is a beauty brands, um, founded by Courtney shields. We spoke about it in the last episode. Um, I'm not gonna lie. I am obsessed. Um, I've mentioned it a couple of times on my Instagram and I love their status sticks. Um, so basically you can use it as a highlighter, either on, um, you know, Your face or your body? I sometimes do, um, you know, my collarbone, um, especially as we're coming up to summer, so I highly recommend them. And also their lip definers are incredible. And I also do have, um, a couple of their shades, which is a mixture of kind of contouring and then blush bronzer. Um so definitely recommend if you haven't heard of this incredible brand is called dibs beauty All right, let's go straight back to part two
francene:like I have great mentors that are amazing. And that had been great. Like they supported me, like definitely assisted, but I really struggled to find female mentors who are also willing to give me that time and kind of help. And I. You know, to hear that you were doing something like that and you're giving your time for free is awesome. Um, cause I think that's what we should be doing. Like, absolutely.
Brianna:I don't
francene:know why we don't kind of help make it easier for other women, um, or kind of open up that door. So at least you can go to someone and, you know, speaking about advice or whatever is
Brianna:totally. And I think more so recently in 2020. Like 2019. I said, okay. I've, I've built so many people's brands and I've always been behind the scene building fortune 100, 500 companies, their brands. Um, I want to build my. And so that's when the podcast started. That's when my own Instagram started and all of that. And, um, so I've been slowly building that, not for the purpose to be an influencer in south staff and shell staff and make money. That's not my goal whatsoever. It's to build a network it's to build a community that women have a safe place where we can hear stories. We can share stories where we can feel comfortable, um, because. What I realized was in the space of the internet of the Instagrams and tick tocks is a very dirty corner. And that corner is like the, what is it called? The GOM. I get off my internet groups and Reddit groups. And. It's it's sad. Like I get sad. I've gone off. I've gotten to read it before. Um, you know, like I said, I've, uh, a great friend who is an influencer. She has her own Reddit group and I've gone there and I've read the comments mostly coming from women. I would say 95% coming from women. And it's sad for me. And I'm like, if I can create. At least some sort of balance to that of positivity, um, then that maybe some people will leave that and come to the positive side of things and empower women and support women. Then, you know, talk about how dirty their
francene:hair is
Brianna:and how. You know, they say the wrong things or do the wrong things or it's, I, I don't get it. It's really hard for me as a woman who suffered from an eating disorder for two decades, it's hard for me to see that that's where people go to and spend their day. Yeah,
francene:I agree. But to your point, especially on I'm generalizing, especially women, like why we can't just be more supportive or, you know, I was talking to my mom about this earlier and I'm originally from Scotland. So the UK and she's actually over this week, um, it's the first time we've seen her in like two. Thanks to COVID. Um, the enemy I was saying to her, how different I feel living in Texas and you know, my friends, you know, with my podcast or, you know, other things happening at work, I feel like they're so supportive and great. Um, and you know, some other friends or, you know, acquaintances or forever, it's like, There's something in them that they just can't be happy for other people. And I see that online it's like they hide behind their phone or their profile, whatever is, and they go and the comments that they write underneath people that they don't know, like why that energy? Um, I don't understand how you can't just. Except people for who they are and be like, wow, good for you for going, doing that. And like, to your point, I follow Courtney and I think she's great. And I, I mean, honestly I'm influenced way more than I should be. So my bank balance hates it. Um, but it's like, you know, she's genuine. Right. And. You know, puts herself out there, but I just hate how negative the world is. It's just, it sucks sometimes. So for you to be able to kind of create a space that allows people to have skewed conversations, positive conversations, and supportive conversations, that's how it should be.
Brianna:Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think a lot of that, if you talking about beauty, a lot of the. Is also from within and the ugly is there's like deep rooted pain. And I know this because when I was at my darkest place, my unhealthiest place, I definitely felt the jealousy, the judgment, those thoughts that other people, because seemingly they looked happier better or per or whatever it wasn't. I wanted it. And I was like, I'm the same as. Like, I, I have the same skin. I have the same, you know, height, the same body type. Why, why you, why not me? And it is so spiraling. Yeah. Now, you know, over 10 years now, I'm very focused on myself and positive, positivity and empowerment, and I celebrate women successes versus envy them. And it's because inside. I feel good and I'm beautiful and I'm in a really great place. Um, and so. When I see those Reddit groups and people's comments, I'm like, I feel sad for them because I don't want them. I don't want that person to be in a sad, dark, unhealthy place. Like they deserve to be happy and at peace with themselves, they don't have to bring someone down to feel good. So it's just a, it's a black hole. It
francene:really, it really is. I also think it takes more effort to think positively change that mindset and work on that even just daily gratitudes, then it takes it's the same. When you think of like bad reviews, you look online to a restaurant. Insulate. If you're not happy about something, people are so quick to be like, oh God, I went to this place last week, suck the services. Then it's like rare. Sometimes that people will make that much effort to go on and write like a good review. And that's what we need to change.
Brianna:Yeah. I, to
francene:talk about that literally all day. So you are expecting another one. So mama going on mumbled four and. You know the podcast with, um, you know, your businesses, how do you like find the balance? And sometimes I hate saying that word, but, um, like how do you manage to kind of juggle and prioritize. You know, your kid's been then at the same time, like run a successful business. And then I know from a podcast you're spending time researching, you know, finding the right people to bring on, have that decent dialogue. How do you any tips? I only have one, so I don't know why. I still can't manage.
Brianna:Yeah. You know, it's so funny. I do you know who boss babes are? Like the, okay. So Danielle was on my podcast and I asked her this question and her answer like completely changed my purview of my own answer. And I was like, I'm stealing that answer. Um, because her, her, her response was dead on. It was like, It's okay. To not have a balance. You're going to go through seasons where you have to tell your family and friends, like, I'm sorry. I can't be a good friend right now. And it's a really busy time for this business. I'm launching a new podcast and I'm so sorry that I just can't be there for you. I just, this needs me more, you know, um, and vice versa, like, yeah, sometimes the podcast takes a hit, uh, because my friends need me more. And so I need to say podcasts, like I get that you didn't do the best job researching or finding the best guests for that topic, but like your friends need you more. Um, and with that being said, My kids always come first. I mean, I come first because I cannot be a good mom, a good partner, a good anything, unless I don't take care unless, you know, I take care of myself first. And that means I prioritize myself in terms of my mental health, my physical health, um, and like me time, because those are the three most important things. If, if those aren't. And a good check, then everybody suffers that's me. And so I always make that first mental and physical health goes first for me. Um, and then, you know, obviously I kids, um, and I am very good at like organizing and scheduling and the biggest, uh, skill that I have is outsourcing. Like it's so funny because my kids, oh my God. Talk about like little sponges. Um, I don't remember what exactly I asked my daughter for, but we are outside and she is six and I said, okay. Oh, can you, we have to like water the plant. Can you just go and get some water? Okay. For the plant. It's super important. And I'll wait here and I'll hold the plant, whatever, like using this as example, she goes, okay, she opens the door. She goes, hunter is my husband. Could you break us down some water? Then he's like, he's like, you're just like your mother. Like you outsource everything. And, but in all honesty, There are a lot of things that I do for my business, that I, instead of me taking all of the profit, I reinvest it to have the right people help me. Um, and if that means that I don't, you know, make a hundred percent of the profit, then, so be it because. Like my mental health and physical health comes first.
francene:Oh gosh.
Brianna:I, I do outsource a lot of my stuff for the business campaign management. Um, putting editorial calendars together, even writing content, sometimes it's just it's needed. Um, And then for my household, um, I will spend the money for the cleaning help and sometimes grocery help and, um, you know, stuff like that. The only thing I don't outsource is cooking. Cause like I love cooking. I cook like six meals a week. We do not do take out. It's just super important to me to cook with my family and, and eat the food together. Um, Uh, but I'll outsource the cleaning. No,
francene:I get that. And I guess it also goes back to having that good relationship with food right. And enjoying making it, um, and the freshness. So yeah, I get that, but yes, I'm the same when it comes to, um, we, uh, got a cleaner, I think when we first kind of moved here. Uh, and especially since we had. Our door is I don't want to spend the weekend cleaning the house. I would rather spend time having fun with her. Um, so yes, I think those situations, and I know a couple of my girlfriends, um, live when we're talking about stuff like this, it's funny. They attended, I think it was like an HR event or something with work. Um, I think they asked like one of the presidents, like how, how do you continue to be successful? Something like that. And they said exactly the same. Outsource get someone to buy your food, all of it. So you can spend time on the things that you want and prioritize the things that you need.
Brianna:Totally. And I think the other advice is I have really been working on boundaries for work, um, where, um, I, so I was previously married. My first three are with my ex I remarried last year to hunter and that's who, um, we're expecting with. And, um, It was re I did not have good boundaries, uh, and especially for work and people in general. So with the fast past four years, I've been working on it. And, you know, I, uh, I'm in a leadership role right now. I'm on a leadership team and some of my, my counterparts who are female, uh, they don't have children. And I don't think that they want children. And it's hard when you're a mom of three, soon to be four. Yeah. To have a counterpart. Who's similarly the same as you, you know, so willing to work the weekends. Oh yeah. So willing to answer the phone at 7:00 PM at any time, any text message, any slack, any phone call, like I'll work all the time. And I had a huge argument where I literally cry. In person in a leadership meeting with everybody at the table, men and female. And I cried because I, I felt like I was attacked of, you know, Brianna, you don't work the weekends, you don't put in the extra effort, you don't do this. Like, I felt that way. And I stood up for myself and I said, I don't care. You don't, you have like, you don't share your children, so you don't get to tell me how I prioritize my work and my life. You make your own choices. You are your own person. And if you want to work all those crazy hours, that is your choice. But if you have that expectation on me, then I shouldn't be here. And so if that's your expectation, let me know, because I will put in my notice of. Because I will not. Uh, well, yeah, I had a log. We had a very long conversation about this, but it was, it was, it was rough because the response to my initial, um, my initial comment of like, you don't share your children because, you know, they don't, they're not divorced. They don't know what it's like to have your children, like three weekends a month or two weekends a month. And their response was like, well, then just tell us when you don't have your children. You're like, no, no,
francene:no, no. I'm like
Brianna:put together my possession calendar and that's when I said like, if this is what is expected of me at this company, I don't belong here. This is not the company I want to work for. Tell me, what's your expectations? And I'm totally, I don't, I don't need to be here. This does not pay my mortgage. It is extra money for me, this experience for me, it's something different for me. So like, I don't have to sacrifice myself if this is what you want from me. And it's definitely changed. And like, don't get me wrong. I'm going to work this weekend because I have. Something that I have to get done that I didn't get done. And so I put in the time, but it's the expectation and it's really hard as a woman to set those boundaries and stick up for yourself in front of, in front of people in that type of situation. So
francene:I think. To your point with other women who have different circumstances to you, because then it's easy for them to be like, oh, well Joe's fine. You're like, yeah, I know. Just fine. Cause
Brianna:she, she was actually the one who called me out on it.
francene:Oh yeah. I think provoked a lot. What you say? I was like, like talking
Brianna:like crying and I'm like, and I'm like a super, I got the point now. Like I'm vulnerable. I don't care if I'm ready to cry in front of people, I'm going to cry. It's just, I'm not gonna fake it. I am who I am. And if it means that I'm going to cry in a meeting with like four other C-level people, then so be it. I don't care,
francene:but it's, it's also being human, but. As well people don't sometimes appreciate when you do have kids, whether it's one or four. Well, obviously it's way harder when you do have more than one from a logistical standpoint, but even things like when you've done, like your full day, you then come home and it's like, you have another full-time job. And then once they go to bed, you then also have to kind of then disconnect from being. You know, professional during the day you're then a mom and then you're like, oh, now I'm a wife. It's a lot, it's a lot different a day to kind of move those hats around. Um, and it's, again, it's, it's difficult. Like I see if I'm speaking with like my younger colleagues that, you know, don't have kids or they're in different circumstances, um, you know, they might not have a mortgage or whatever it is, and you're talking about. Completely different things like, Hey, let's go out for happy hour tonight. And you're like, NILAH like, that is, I can't leave. Like this. There's a lot in the background. Yeah. That's hard.
Brianna:It is hard. So I say your, your biggest, uh, your you're the best keeper of you. You're your biggest advocate and you have to stick up for yourself. And if that means showing a more vulnerable side, You will build confidence and you will be proud of yourself. If you stick up for yourself and keep your boundaries. Yeah. A
francene:hundred percent. Um, so I'm conscious of time. Um, cause I think I promised in my note, I'm like, no, I won't take more than 40 minutes and I know I've gone over. That's fine. I don't have good kids tonight. So, um, don't say that. Cause then I'll continue to have. Um, I was telling my husband earlier, I was like, oh, I'm going to be interviewing you. And I kind of went through like your background. I was like, Hey, what would you ask? Um, and we're massive fans of how I built this. I don't know if you've ever listened to the podcast by guy Ross. So my husband was like, oh my God, you need to ask this question. So I'm sure you will recognize it. He asked every guest I'm stealing his content here. So from your success, how much would you attribute to Locke and how much was it? Just pure
Brianna:scale? Yeah. Um, I do I do. I also, I listened to almost every one of his episodes. I know. I, I, I usually, I usually walk
francene:like walk and listen to him and I, you know, imagine myself one day
Brianna:being honest
francene:podcasts and him asking me this. Okay. Guy,
Brianna:I have been waiting
francene:for you to ask me this three
Brianna:years. Um, you know, I definitely think there's a little bit of luck. Um, It's the it's being in the right place at the right time. Right. And I think that can go for anybody. And everyone always has a little bit of that, but that's like five to 10% of it. It's the skill of seeing the opportunity, seeing of what can be from that opportunity and like seeing the tiny little opening in it and grabbing it. And for me, Whether that's skill or personality. Um, I think for me, it's like way more personality than some kind of skill that I have, but I would say like 90 to 95% of it is skill and personality. And then you just have that little dash of luck that you capitalize on.
francene:Oh, how? Yeah. It's like seeing the opportunity, but then having the personality to take it. Yeah, grab it and run with it. Absolutely.
Brianna:And to have the personality, to when things get hard or difficult or obstacles, get in your way that you continue to push through it. So you can have that next little opening of luck, right. Time, right place to capitalize that.
francene:Yeah, I love that. Um, okay. So we will finish with a quick fire round, so answer whatever comes into your heads. Um, so I'm conscious of this next question because you are pregnant, but let's just go with it anyway. Um, so favorite cocktail.
Brianna:Okay. I love any kind of craft cocktail. Um, I love vodka and tequila. So
francene:I would say not
Brianna:together. No, not together. Those are just my two go-to separately, depending on what kind of food on meeting. Okay. I
francene:love that. I was like, oh man, is that a new
Brianna:cocktail? No, I would, I would literally like sit tequila if that was
francene:appropriate. Yeah, it is great. Um, who is playing you in a mood?
Brianna:Oh, shoot. I am so bad with actresses. I don't even know that. I know like an actress. Okay. I'm just gonna say Christina, what's her name? Christina Ricci, because we had a look alike.
francene:Oh yeah. I love her. She's great. I haven't seen her well now that I'm friends with her, but now that she cares. Um, oh my God. The sweaty laughing.
Brianna:Laughing. Yeah.
francene:I use that one all the time. Um, if you were a sex and say character, who would you be? Okay. I've
Brianna:never seen that episode. You've
francene:never seen it. No, none of it.
Brianna:Oh, no. I just know Samantha is the main character, but like, I wouldn't know her personality or even anything. So what do you think.
francene:For you? Um, I would probably say, um, honestly, I would probably say Carrie Bradshaw, but with the mixture of Samantha more from like you go after it and you get when you were a card.
Brianna:Okay. I'm going to Google that. I mean,
francene:gosh, I don't think I've met anyone. That's not seen it, but that's okay. Um, if you could only take two skincare products, what would they be?
Brianna:Ooh to skincare products. Um, I would definitely have to go with like my moisturizing cream just cause I have really dry skin. And at this moment I'm going to pick a dipstick because it's technically two in one, it could be lipstick, eye shadow.
francene:Everything it is great. And literally everyone that's listening. Dibs is like the best brands I bought. Love it so much already. Um, if you could be anyone for one day, who would you be?
Brianna:Um, Sheryl Sandberg. Okay. I
francene:love that. Um, and last one. What is your life motto? Favorite phrase that you live by, in.
Brianna:Oh, my God. Okay. So my husband would want me to say, why you coming at me, but that's really not my life motto. It's just an inside joke of whenever I'm in a situation that's chaotic. I always say that of like, why are you coming at me? Um, but no, that's not it. Uh, I think, oh, geez, Louise. I don't know. Moto phrase, um, I guess it would be like, it always could be worse. That's
francene:true. That is true. I feel like I say a lot of that all the time. I feel like when someone gives me like bad use of something else, I'm like, well, could be
Brianna:worse or probably unhealthily optimistic about.
francene:I am the same to the detriment of everyone around me. If there's like the worst thing I'm like, okay, let me try and find something positive here.
Brianna:Yeah. So my friends are like, we just don't want to be positive. I
francene:like that this does not commute with me. Um, well, Hey Brianna, thank you so much for joining me this afternoon. I really appreciate your time. Um, and for everyone listening, you can go find her on Instagram. It's under mom, boss in Austin, and also please listen to her awesome podcast called bad-ass bitch. Bad-ass basic bitch.
Brianna:Yeah. Thank you. Saying having me on here, it's been a joy. I
francene:love it. Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate
Brianna:your time. Yeah. Let me know when this air and I want to listen to it. I will.
francene:Thank you. Have a nice
Brianna:evening.